My Immortal
by Saving Angel
Summary: A song fiction based on the song My Immortal by Evanescence... Tom Kaulitz x OC


**My Immortal**

"**I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears…"**

Tom was sitting on the couch with his arm around his latest girl. No one even asked their names anymore and Tom rarely introduced them. They were never around long enough for it to matter. But this time it was different. This was the third time that Colista had seen this girl around. That never happened.

"This is Jolie, Colista," Tom's voice took her off guard.

"Uhmm… Hi, Jolie. Nice to meet you."

Jolie just smiled and snuggled closer to Tom, who leaned down to kiss her. Colista grabbed her purse and headed for the door. No way was she going to stick around to see those two go at it.

Tom peeled his lips off the girl long enough to call after her, "Where you going, Lissy?" before he was back to kissing Jolie again.

"Anywhere but here," Colista muttered, shutting the door behind. Tom was the only one who had ever been allowed to call her Lissy. Not even Bill was allowed to.

They'd been friends since they were seven, she, Tom, and Bill. Tom had always been the one who had meant more to her than almost anyone else in her life. It wasn't until his first steady girlfriend a few years back that she had realized her feelings for him were definitely more than that of a friend.

Sitting on a swing at a nearby park, Colista made her choice. She wasn't going to sit around and watch him "fall for" another girl, and then lose her when he couldn't stick to just one. She didn't want to have to pick up the pieces again. She had to get away.

"**And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave…" **

When Colista arrived back at the house, Jolie was nowhere to be seen. Colista didn't care to know where she had gone. Turning off the T.V., Colista sat on the coffee table and faced the twins.

"Hey!" Bill started to protest but, seeing the look on her face, he shut up.

"I'm leaving," Both Bill and Tom looked taken aback and instantly sad. Colista plunged on, afraid that if she didn't say the words now, she never would. "I've decided to go see the United States."

"But I thought you were coming on tour with us?"Tom looked surprisingly hurt by her announcement and she couldn't help but feel a little satisfied despite herself. The guys had hired her when they first started to tour. She had been working as a personal assistant to them ever since. The said it was nice to have someone from home with them.

"Well, I got a good price on the tickets and just couldn't refuse. My English is good enough now that it shouldn't be a problem. I need to do this, it's time I see some more of the world."

"Well, congratulations and take lots of pictures! We'll miss you, but it's good you decided to take some time for yourself. I have to go to sleep now, though, early rehearsals tomorrow. Guten Nacht!" Bill headed down the hallway to his room, leaving Colista and Tom alone.

"When do you leave?" Tom was looking everywhere but at Colista.

"Tomorrow, around noon."

"So soon? Why?"

"It was kind of just an impulse. I've always wanted to travel to the States though."

"Funny, I never heard you mention it."

"Well, I never thought I'd actually have the courage to do it. I always just deemed it a silly dream."

"Nothing you dream of is ever silly to me, Colista. I think it's a great idea but couldn't you wait until after the tour?"

"I already have the ticket."

"You could exchange it, and…"

"Tom, I'm going. I've made my choice."

Tom looked hurt and stood, saying "Fine them. Go. Have fun."

He walked out of the room, muttering something that sounded like, "See if I care," as he did.

A minute later he walked back through the room with his car keys and slammed the door behind him. She heard his car peel out of the parking lot. Sitting on the couch where he had just been sitting, she buried her face in her hands and cried herself to sleep.

"**Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone…" **

Tom needed speed. He needed something to keep his mind off of Colista. She had been around so long that he couldn't even imagine life without her anymore. He knew that Bill would miss her too, but it wasn't the same. He and Colista had always had something more than she and Bill. It had always been different for them. He didn't want to imagine touring without her. Tears blurred his vision and he pulled over to the side of the road. He thought briefly about going to Jolie's house, but couldn't bring himself to turn the car around. That was not what he needed right now.

Why had Colista even come to say goodbye? If she wanted to leave so badly, then why didn't she just go? It would have saved them both the pain of saying goodbye. Why couldn't he just let her go, accept the fact that what she wanted wasn't where he was anymore? Why did this hurt him so badly? He had plenty of other friends. Why was he upset about just one of them going away? He would never forget her, she was far too good of a friend, but why did the fact that he wouldn't be seeing her every day hurt like this? Exasperated, he put his head down on the steering wheel, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

"**These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase."**

Once Colista had boarded the airplane, she put her head against the window and closed her eyes. She was trying to forget the look on Tom's face when he came home that morning. His expression was of rehearsed indifference when he saw her, tears still running down her cheeks. His eyes were guarded, trying to hide his true feelings, but they were red rimmed and swollen. She knew he had been crying too. Walking past her towards his room, he said nothing. Colista could have just blurted it all out right then, but she didn't. She could have told him her true feelings, the real reason why she was leaving. But she didn't want to be like any of the others adoring girls he had around every other corner. She wouldn't be like one of the other girls he had been with, that she'd seen him with. It had hurt her every time he came home with another girl. The scars were etched deeper and deeper each time. She wasn't sure those marks would ever fade completely. She cared about him so much; it wasn't something that just went away. Tears fell again. The woman sitting next to her offered a tissue with a look of pity. This was going to be one long plane ride.

Tom heard the door close. Yet another tear fell. She was gone. Earlier that morning he was mad at her for leaving. But now all he wished was that he had said goodbye, wished her well. Seeing her that morning, curled up and crying, all he had wanted was to go to her and hold her, to tell her everything was going to be alright. He wanted to know the real reason that she was leaving, and why it was causing her so much pain. He wrapped himself tighter in his bed sheets. It was all he could do to keep himself from running after her.

"**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears." **

Throughout their childhood, Tom and Colista had depended upon each other greatly. They had been together through both of their parents divorces. He'd been there for her grandma, who had been like a second mother to her during her parents split, had passed away. He'd been there for her the day her brother, Joshua, enlisted in the army, and let her cry on his shoulder when he was sent to Iraq. She'd been there for him when his mom remarried. She stuck up for him when he was made fun of in school. She had been the one to talk him through his first dates. She'd listened to him while he talked after a particularly tough breakup, and even wiped the occasional stray tear that was shed during such a talk. On their first day of school each year they always walked into the building together. It was going to tear them both up to be apart, though both had too much pride to admit it.

Bill walked in to see Tom sitting and holding, clutching rather, Colista's goodbye letter. One look at his brother and he could tell how much he really was hurting. One look and he could tell just how deep his feelings for Colista really went.

"**And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have… All of me…" **

All of these years, Tom had thought that it was he that had helped and supported her. Never had he thought it was the other way around. He was realizing now just how reversed he had it. As much as he'd been there for her, she'd been there for him just the same, if not more. And he had never given her credit for any of that. He was just beginning to see how badly he had fucked this up.

Colista stared at the New York skyline from the top of the Statue of Liberty. The sight was beautiful. The sun was just setting behind the city and the effect was absolutely magical. So why was it that all she wanted to do was stare East over the ocean, pretend like she could still see the country of her birth where her friends were, where Tom was? Tom. She really needed to put him out of her mind. He had been in every other thought since she got off the plane. That only reinforced the idea that he'd always be the one in the back of her mind, that she never would forget him. He really had worked his way into her heart somehow, even against her better judgment. She never wanted a player type like him. But there was more to him than that, she knew it. She sighed. 'I really am in over my head here. I've totally given my heart to someone who not only doesn't know that he has it, but wouldn't want it if he knew!'

"**You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind." **

Colista dragged herself out of bed the next morning. It was sad, but even in New York City, she didn't want to do anything. Everything she did reminded her of Tom. He was in every move she made, everything anyone said. Hell, last night she'd even thought she saw his face on a billboard sign. Had leaving really been the right thing to do?

Tom called Jolie that evening to break things off. He wasn't in the mood for a relationship anymore. Sure, he really liked her and she was different than the other girls he'd dated over the years. But she wasn't what he needed right now. Jolie took it well, and he guessed she'd been expecting it. Oh well, it didn't matter. All he knew was that Colista wouldn't get out of his head. She was in every thought he had, everything he did or said. 'Why couldn't she just come back already?' one part of his brain pleaded mentally. 'What would change if she did return?' the other part countered. 'Does it really matter?'All he wanted was to see her again, hear her laughter as he ticked her side after a long day of work or rehearsals, or hear her smile with that light in her eyes that she had always had but that he had always overlooked. If she was back, he would never take advantage of her being around again. He would cherish every second of it. He knew the thought was true as it passed through his mind. Now what should he do about it?

"**Your face, it haunt my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me." **

Two nights later, Colista was on another flight west to L.A. She had decided to see the west coast, to drive it all the way up to Seattle. Plus, one thought would not stay silent in the back of her mind; the boys are back and forth between Germany and L.A. quite often. 'No! They have no plans to go to L. the near future. I've seen their schedule with my own eyes' Colista reasoned. Still, she was going to pay a visit to Universal Records. They would remember her from the last time she visited with the band.

Colista must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Tom was looking at her from a chair in the corner of a hotel room. She'd had this dream many times. He would tell her he loved her, they would kiss, and she would wake up wishing the dream was real and had continued. It used to be her favorite dream. But this time it was different.

"I found someone else," Tom said, looking her directly in the eyes. The cold tone in his voice startled her and his words shattered her. She woke with tears streaming down her cheeks once more. The man next to her was looking at her quizzically and she shook her head. She really had lost it.

Tom listened to the voicemail for the fifteenth time. Just hearing her voice again awakened something within him. It was like he had hope again. It felt like she was back. But she wasn't. She was in L.A. The workers had told Bill that she stopped by while he was on the phone with them about a new song he wanted to record. Her voice came through the receiver once more. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sound of it even though he knew exactly what she was saying. It was an old voicemail, he wasn't even sure how old.

"I have to see her again," he said out loud to himself. The thought gave him an idea. Why couldn't he go to her? The group didn't leave to tour for a few more days, he could be back by then. That sealed the deal for him. Dialing the pilots number, he said "Jimmy, meet me at the jet in an hour."

Hanging up he quickly packed a small bag and wrote a note to the others, telling where he was going. Peeling out of the parking lot, he was on his way without a backwards glance.

"**These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real…"**

Almost every time they went out, Tom found another girl. And each time Colista couldn't help but feel more alone, more forgotten. She wasn't going to forget those feelings. It all came back to her once in a while. Tom didn't know how much it had hurt her to witness. She was glad he didn't, it would hurt him and the last thing she wanted was him to be hurting too. Even through everything, she didn't want him to be hurt on her account.

Tom's phone blasted his favorite Samy Deluxe song. It was Bill.

"Hey," Tom knew what was coming.

"Tom, what the hell are you thinking? Come home, now."

"I'm going, little brother. You can't stop me."

"What good is it going to do, Tom? You're acting stupid."

"Bill, I have to do this."

"Why won't you just let her go? She's obviously not happy in her place here. She doesn't want to be here anymore. If you love her, let her be happy. Let her go."

"That's just it, Bill! I can't let her go!" Tom shouted into the receiver, swerving into the next lane and causing the car behind him to honk at him shrilly. "I gotta go." He hit End before Bill could respond and pulled off the exit for the small airport where the band's private jet was stored. Jimmy the pilot was standing outside waiting for him. Parking the car, he ran over to the plane. He jumped into the plane and they were on their way within the hour.

"**There's just too much that time cannot erase…"**

Tom was deep in thought about what he was going to do when he found Colista. He had to tell her what he was feeling. But what was he feeling? Was is as Bill said; did he love her? It seemed fitting, he had never felt this strongly about a girl before. No other girls even began to stand up to her anymore. But would he be able to completely give up his old player habits? He knew she would want him to if they were going to be together. Wait a minute; they were going to be together? That was a new thought. But why else was he going after her? Tom sighed. He was getting a migraine. This was going to be tougher than he thought. All he knew was that old habits die hard, but in the end they still have to die.

"**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have… Al of me…"**

"It's beautiful, isn't it? The view from here is my favorite of the whole ride." The male voice startled Colista.

"Yeah, it sure is." Colista went back to gazing out the window, hoping that the guy would get the message and leave her alone. He had been watching her throughout the whole train ride and she was getting a little annoyed by it.

"My name's Jhonny, by the way. What's yours?" He obviously wasn't going to take a hint, so she might as well have a little fun.

"Matilda. My name is Matilda."

"Well, nice to meet you, Matilda. You ever go by Maddy?"

Colista rolled her eyes. "Sure, all the time."

"Well then, Maddy, what brings you to the Seattle area?"

"Uhmm, I'm visiting my, uhmm, second cousin. Second cousin twice removed actually. She has a horrible condition. She screams randomly at complete strangers. Nothing the doctors can do about it. They say she doesn't have long to live before her, uhhh, lungs explode."

"Oh, that's horrible. I think I may have heard of that condition, actually. I think I read about it in a magazine a few weeks back."

Colista bit her tounge. It was all she could do to keep from busting out laughing. Under different circumstances, this guy could actually be very appealing to her. But no one was like Tom. She seriously doubted that anyone would ever be equal to him again, much less pass him by.  
"Is there anything I can do? Any way I could help you out while you're here? I know the city pretty well and…"

Colista tuned the man out. Would this train please speed up?

Tom was gazing confusedly at a map he picked up from the Seattle/Tacoma airport. According to the people at Universal, Seattle was where Colista would be now. She was staying at a hotel called the Westin right downtown. But according to his sources she would be at the Space Needle today. A woman approached him.

"Hey handsome, need some help finding where you want to go?" She shot him a flirty look and swelled her chest up. She really was quite attractive.

Tom waved her off. "I think I can manage. Have a nice day."

"Are you sure, stranger? I could, you know, show you what you want to see. Of the city, I mean."

"Of course. No, I think I have things under control, thanks."  
"Well, if you ever need a, ehh, private chaperone, here's my number. The names Lacie. I hope to hear from you."

The woman walked away, swinging her hips in an overly exaggerated manner. Tom ignored her completely. He headed to the other end of the airport to catch a cab to the Space Needle, throwing the woman's number into the nearest trash can. It was true, he didn't want to be with anyone but Colista for the rest of his life. They had so much history together that he couldn't help but be excited by the future they could have. They needed each other; at least he thought they did. Now he could only pray that she felt the same way.

"**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me…" **

Jumping out of the cab, Tom ran towards the figure in the distance. Colista. Finally, he saw her. Slowing to a walk, he called out to her, "Lissy!"

Colista spun around, startled. Their eyes locked, and for the smallest second, time was frozen.

"Tom…" Colista was speechless. 'He came after me…' she thought. 'That must mean he… STOP! I will not give myself false hope,' Colista mentally shook herself. "What are you doing here? How did you know where to find me?"

"The people at the record label told me where you would be. I had to see you."

"What about Jolie?" Colista was afraid of what he would say. Was he still with her?

"I dumped her a few days after you left. Anyways, she has nothing to do with this."

"She has everything to do with this, Tom. She and all the others…"

"What are you talking about?"

"They're the reason I'm here and not back in Germany. They're the reason why I left."

"Lissy, what do you mean?"

"I didn't want to sit around and watch you with all of those other girls anymore. I couldn't. So I left. I thought it would be best."

"Those other girls, they mean nothing."

"Am I just one of 'those other girls', Tom? Be honest with me."

"You think I would be here if you were? There is not one other girl that I would chase halfway around the world."

"Should I believe that?"

"Yes! You should believe if because I mean it!"

"Do you say that to all the other girls, Tom? You make them feel pretty special. How do I know you aren't just playing the same card on me?" Colista wasn't sure why she was doing this, getting defensive like this. She was in shock from seeing him, and the pain that she had felt so many times on his account was all coming back to her. What was she thinking, trusting this man? 'It's still the same old Tom you grew up with,' her mind reasoned. She was a little more at ease, but didn't want to let her guard down too much. She didn't want her heart to be broken just like all the others.

"Colista, you're special to me. You always have been. What is all of this about? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am, I'm just afraid."  
"Afraid of what? It's me, Tom! I would never do anything to hurt you! Don't you know what?"

"I know that! It's just that…" The rush of emotions was too much. Colista didn't even know what she was trying to say. There was too much floating around her head.

Tom reached out and grabbed her shoulders. He was afraid to have come all this way just to have her refuse him, to say that it was for the best that they be apart. The thought tugged at his heart. He felt like he wanted to cry. "It's just that what, Lissy? What?"

"**I've been alone all along…"**

"All these years, Tom, I've had to watch you bounce from girl to girl. Too many to even count! Do you know how it made me feel to have to watch that? Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep because I felt like I was going to lose you to one of them?"

"Lissy, I'm so sorry. I…"

"Do you know how hard it was for me to help you pick up the pieces when you got hurt? Do you even know how much I have loved you since we were 12? Yeah, that's right. I have been in love with you for eight years, Tom. And do you know how much pain I have been in over that?"

"If I had known any of this, I would have…"

"Don't lie, Tom. You wouldn't have done anything differently."

"I would have made sure not to bring people around; made sure you didn't have to see me when I was with them."

"Did you ever wonder why I didn't have boyfriends when we were growing up? It was because I always wanted you, and only you. I still do! You don't see that I've been alone all these years. You don't know how lonely I've felt, even when you were in the next room over."

"**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears…"**

"Colista, if you give me a chance, I promise you will never have to be alone again. I promise that I will always be there for you, that I will always take into consideration how you are feeling. I promise not to cause you any more pain that I already have. I don't want to hurt you. I never have. I didn't realize until you were gone just how much you mean to me, Lissy. You are one of the most important people in my life and I'm sorry I ever took that for granted. When you left, I wasn't myself. It was like you took a part of me, the best part of me, with you. I knew then how much I needed you. Please, Colista, give me a chance to prove myself to you."

"What are you saying, Tom? That you want another chance to be a better friend, a better colleague…"

"I love you, Colista. I want you to give me a chance to be with you. I don't want anyone else. I only want you. I want you and me to see what we can be together."

"You mean that?"

"Absolutely."

"Tom, I thought you'd never ask." Colista threw herself into Tom's arms and he pulled her close, never wanting to let her go. Tears that had been threatening throughout the whole conversation spilled over Colista's cheeks and Tom wiped them away, along with those that had leaked from the corners of his own eyes. There, at the base of the Space Needle, the two locked eyes. The moment seemed to live forever, and it would in both of their hearts. Neither wanted the day to end.

"**And I've held your hand through all of these years. But you still have… All of me…"**

Colista cuddled closer to Tom. The two were sitting in the airplane and awaiting takeoff.

"The takeoff is always my favorite part of the flight," Colista grinned up at a smiling Tom.

"Mine too, mein leibe. But on this flight, you're my favorite part." Tom winked and Colista giggled.

"Oh, stop it," She blushed. "What are we going to do when we get back to Germany?"

"I don't think it matters what we do, so long as were together. Under that condition, it will be an amazing day for me."

"I agree. I don't want to look too far to the future. I like the present just fine right now." Tom grinned and leaned down, taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

"How did I never see what was right in front of me?" Tom thought out loud.

"Well, it took you long enough," They both chuckled. The plane lurched forward then, and Tom snuck one more kiss before the plane launched into the air. 'I am going to be with this woman forever,' Tom thought. And right at that moment, snuggling Colista farther into his arms, he felt like the luckiest man on Earth.

**Authoress Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed this. I heard the song and the idea immediately came to me. This is my first solo songfic, so lemme know what you think.. please, please, please, review! :) **


End file.
